Following the Footsteps

It breaks my heart to see or hear about friends that I grew up with struggling so much in life. Friends that were more like family, who unfortunately fell into the patterns of poverty and drug abuse that were around us as children.

It goes without question…parents always say they want a better life for their children, but there comes a point where that needs to be demonstrated, lived out as an example. Children are certainly very creative on their own, but they learn by example. How can a parent justify wanting a better life for their children when they themselves are living a life dictated by their own devices? If you, as a parent, a child’s guide and mentor, cannot rise above your situation, then how can the children believe they can? It is a selfish thing then to hope your children can rise above on their own; it is negligence of your duty.

I am not a parent, so I cannot claim to know how difficult parenting is. I was, however, a child growing up in an unfortunate situation and had others growing up alongside me. I can testify to what made the difference between my life and the other children’s lives to date. It was a single parent, just one that made that difference. One that had the courage to get out of that situation for good.

Once outside, the world opens up for children. There are new things to aspire to. And most importantly, the belief that they in fact do deserve it. That’s the kicker…when the parent can demonstrate a better life, so too can the children follow.


A quote on Soul Mates

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…”

Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love

Such a wonderful outlook on what a Soul Mate is; simply had to share.

Drama-Free Relationships: What on earth is the “talking” stage?


Without realizing it, this new millennial generation seems to have created a whole new step to dating: The Talking Stage. I’m sure most people in this generation are thinking “well duh…I know what that is”, but I’m finding that this part of the dating game isn’t quite that easy to understand.

Perhaps we’ve become more careful in our dating decisions, so we’ve added this step as a way to to get to know someone before making it official, but is has some confusing aspects that can cause drama where it is unnecessary (as drama always is).

A dear friend of mine recently had a situation in which she found out that the guy she was “talking” to for 6 months went to lunch with another woman. Her immediate feelings at this were of hurt; she felt deceived and even questioned whether or not she could trust this person because she found out from another source. It could very well have been an honest mistake: a simple lunch with a friend. We don’t really need the details here and I’m sure some readers are already forming a rebuttal. What I’m pointing out is WHY she felt hurt. In order to feel hurt, someone must think that the other has done wrong. But who says the act was wrong in the first place? How can you break a rule without knowing it existed? This is the problem with the “talking” stage…lack of communication. We don’t always know how committed someone is or if it’s OK to seek other interests at this stage. After all, the definition of this stages states:

When two people are not exclusive with each other nor have established what they are as a couple, but have some sort of relationship. When two people like each other and are getting to know each other better,but are still single.
The Urban Dictionary
That exclusivity really depends on the two people involved, it has to be discussed. If it hasn’t been discussed and a similar situation arises, how can you be sure you have a right to be angry? So for this situation, who knows if the guy was being a scumbag or if it’s just a matter of misunderstanding? Women generally tend to assume exclusivity right from the beginning, but men usually don’t. Some gems do…but it all varies.  The best way to avoid all the drama is to simply stop assuming and to start communicating. Men and women have drastically different thought processes, but we still make assumptions based on how we think ourselves. We just have to keep in mind that we all think differently. If you reach a point where you’re ready to be exclusive, you should just express that. Sure it can be scary to just bring it up out of the blue (trust me…I know), but nothing worth having is ever really achieved without risk. And starting the relationship off with good and honest communication, surely, is the best start to a strong foundation as well as a means to escape worrying over nothing (especially you ladies!). So if you are in this stage of a relationship, do the title some justice and start talking.
The “Gem” I’m dating currently had some very wise words from the man’s perspective:
Men are stupid; we don’t understand hints very well. If you want a ring; just say so. Hinting around with “I want something shiny” will probably get you a toaster.
with Love,

What is the Meaning of Life?

photo source:

Have you noticed the immense number of social networking sites there are? Can you even keep count? I, personally, have at least one. Something they all have in common is the ability to post something you are either doing, feeling, thinking, or seeing at the time. Why do we like this so much: sharing our thoughts, desires, etc? Even this post is not excluded. Something I’ve noticed, is that we are all simply a bunch of narcissists; we love talking about ourselves and posting interesting things in the hopes of getting positive feedback. We all just want to feel good about ourselves and get praise for what we do.

The answer to the title question “What is the Meaning of Life?” lies in this very same concept, but perhaps from an opposite viewpoint. The key here is that it’s NOT about us; it’s about God. The meaning of life is simply to fulfill our purpose: why we were made. And our ultimate purpose, though it has many ways of being fulfilled, is to bring Him glory.

Rev. 4:11 says, “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”

God is similarly narcissistic; he enjoys praise and to be loved. Although his views cannot be deemed as excessive as warrants the term because He is all deserving. This is why we have free will: because what glory can be had by receiving love from those that have no choice?

An easy concept for some, but perhaps a bit harder for others. Let it sink in. It’s not about me and it’s not about you. It’s definitely the most humbling realization I have come to.

With that in mind, there really is no reason to worry about our everyday troubles, about the hardships we face, the tragedies that occur. Whether we like it or not, everything has a time, a purpose, a season.

1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

English Standard Version (ESV)

Why then, do some people hate God for the things that happen to them? Is it because they do not know what life is all about or because they choose not to believe it isn’t about them? Sometimes it can feel like a slap in the face, but let’s face it…we need it. I’ve come across many people that call themselves atheist. We have free will, so it is your right if you do. But some that call themselves as such really aren’t; they believe there is a God but then refuse to acknowledge Him because of the hurt in their lives. I always hear the same question: “why would I believe in a God that let’s [this] happen and [that] happen?” (insert whatever heartache you choose). Of course there are many things that occur that we cannot explain or comprehend. Loved ones die, children are born with defects, there are starving countries and evil abounds in the world. What it all comes down to is that we don’t have to understand why. We don’t have to have all the answers. All we need to know is that there is a reason for everything and it is not about us; it’s about His glory.

This is what I believe is the Meaning of Life…He is.  That’s good enough for me. There are many who do not agree and there are many answers to this same question. For those that don’t, you were made with the right to choose and, therefore, can create your own meaning of life. Regardless of your spiritual standing, I believe there is a purpose to everything and a straight answer to what is the Meaning of Life. Even Siri, the AI of Apple’s Iphone, has her theories. I happen to agree with one of them.


with Love,