Without realizing it, this new millennial generation seems to have created a whole new step to dating: The Talking Stage. I’m sure most people in this generation are thinking “well duh…I know what that is”, but I’m finding that this part of the dating game isn’t quite that easy to understand.
Perhaps we’ve become more careful in our dating decisions, so we’ve added this step as a way to to get to know someone before making it official, but is has some confusing aspects that can cause drama where it is unnecessary (as drama always is).
A dear friend of mine recently had a situation in which she found out that the guy she was “talking” to for 6 months went to lunch with another woman. Her immediate feelings at this were of hurt; she felt deceived and even questioned whether or not she could trust this person because she found out from another source. It could very well have been an honest mistake: a simple lunch with a friend. We don’t really need the details here and I’m sure some readers are already forming a rebuttal. What I’m pointing out is WHY she felt hurt. In order to feel hurt, someone must think that the other has done wrong. But who says the act was wrong in the first place? How can you break a rule without knowing it existed? This is the problem with the “talking” stage…lack of communication. We don’t always know how committed someone is or if it’s OK to seek other interests at this stage. After all, the definition of this stages states:
When two people are not exclusive with each other nor have established what they are as a couple, but have some sort of relationship. When two people like each other and are getting to know each other better,but are still single.The Urban Dictionary
Men are stupid; we don’t understand hints very well. If you want a ring; just say so. Hinting around with “I want something shiny” will probably get you a toaster.